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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28023825">in another lifetime (maybe it was meant to be)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapin/pseuds/Lapin'>Lapin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>fire-bird [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnificent Seven (2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Modern AU, Reincarnation, Wedding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:08:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,635</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28023825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapin/pseuds/Lapin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>There’s nothing wrong with having dreams. Vas has already done the impossible once, twice. The things he dreams of now, they’re far from impossible. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>No, they feel so very close within his grasp. </em>
</p>
<p>to have and to hold, 'til death do you part (amendments may be made)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Vasquez/Joshua Faraday</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>fire-bird [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>in another lifetime (maybe it was meant to be)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>At this point I'm just doing whatever the fuck I want.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Vas, why am I seeing Teddy’s mommies on this list?” </p>
<p>It’s a nice night, and Vas is enjoying it, lying on the couch in just his undershirt and some shorts, with the screen door shut to let the air and the sounds of the neighborhood in. He’s even reading a book, something he doesn’t always have time for, and has a mixed drink on the coffee table, that Josh  made for him when Vas got out of the shower. </p>
<p>Josh, who’s leaning against the back of the couch with a printed sheet of paper in hand, looking down at Vas. “Babe? Teddy’s moms?” Vas doesn’t know what he’s talking about. “Why are they invited?” </p>
<p>Oh, shit. That. “It’s the school year,” he explains. “I’m supposed to invite a seventeen-year-old, and not his parents?” It’s a good reason, or at least the one he’d come up with a month ago when he’d done it. </p>
<p>Josh clearly isn’t buying it. “So it’s not just ‘cause you like fucking with Red and Billy?”</p>
<p>“No,” Vas says. “That’s the second reason.” It’s also a big bonus, but Josh already knows that. </p>
<p>“Uh-huh,” Josh drawls. “Because we didn’t have enough trouble the first time around? You got to go looking for it?” He reaches down, and pushes Vas’ hair back from his forehead. “They reply?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, they’re coming.” Teddy had actually been the one to confirm it, sending Vas a text confirming they’d gotten the invitation, and that both his moms were ‘happy to attend’. He probably cleaned up the language a bit, but Teddy is nice like that. Vas always appreciated him for that quality. The first time around, Teddy was great for smoothing things over with people whenever any of the rest of them got a bit too cocky. “I think it’ll be fun. And they’re a lawyer and a doctor, they’ll probably bring a good gift.” </p>
<p>Josh nods, seeming to agree. “Think you can steer Teddy Q. towards them getting us a blender? I’ve been wanting one of those nice ones.” He leans over the couch, resting on his elbows. “Jesus says his wife will make the cake.” He’d been saying something about that earlier this week, but they had to wait for Jesus to confirm with her. So that’s one thing down. </p>
<p>That’s actually most of it. It’s just going to be a barbecue at the ranch, really, after they get the ceremony out of the way, and that’s not going to be much except the exchanging of the vows with the justice of the peace that had already agreed to come out. There’s not even that many people coming. Twenty, twenty-five. Thirty, tops, if everyone comes. “Does she need money for it?” </p>
<p>“Nah, Jesus says it’ll be their present.” Vas frowns at that, but Josh catches it. “Don’t be an asshole, you know they can’t exactly be throwing money around. And do you know how much a wedding cake costs?”</p>
<p>Vas thinks about it, but for the life of him, he’s drawing a blank. “No clue.” </p>
<p>“They’re expensive. Be grateful we’re getting a free one.” That’s true, Vas guesses, so he shrugs it off, and sits up, reaching for Josh. He gives in, leaning over to kiss Vas, then goes off to whatever it is he was doing before. Getting Wild Jack ready for a walk, looks like. </p>
<p>While they’re gone, it’s just Vas, alone with his book and his drink. He takes a break from the book though, stretching his legs out and pressing his feet against the arm of the couch so he can get that satisfying resistance in it. </p>
<p>It’s not that he’s ungrateful for the offer of a cake. Honestly, it’s one more thing checked off on the list, which he’s happy about. One less thing to worry about. It’s not like this is going to be anything like a traditional wedding anyway; they’re not even being married by a priest. They <em>can’t</em> be married by a priest. They’re both men, and Josh isn’t Catholic.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know what’s bothering him, really. It’s not like <em>he’s</em> really Catholic. Kind of can’t be, at this point, because while he might not have been the most diligent church-goer, he sure as fuck doesn’t remember anything about souls coming around again. Kind of defeats the point, really. It’s how he grew up though, both times, and whenever he’d toyed with the idea of getting married, he’d always imagined something like how it went the first time, when his sisters got married. </p>
<p>Well, the ones he’d gotten to see get married. Just Lupe and Marisol, back then, and then he’d decided to take off on his own for work. Hadn’t been long after that he’d fallen in with the wrong sort, and ended up in more trouble than he could come back from. Shit he didn’t need to be dragging back to their door. He assumes the other girls got married too, at some point, but he never got to be there.  </p>
<p>Everything had just seemed to get out of hand so <em>fast</em>, when really, it had been years of stupid decisions, and mistakes. It hadn’t even really been intentional, killing that ranger, the thing that had finally put a bounty on his head. </p>
<p>They’d already stolen the cattle, him and the men he was running with, skimming off the herd in the dead of night, after the cowboys had passed out around their fire. While two of the other men had been negotiating prices with the buyer, Vas had wandered on into town with the rest, intending on getting himself a haircut and a drink. </p>
<p>He’d gotten the haircut. Had been looking for the drink when he’d heard it. Shouting, pleading, in a language he didn’t know. He could have walked on, minded his own business, but there’d been something in the voice that had tugged at him, so he’d sought it out, ducking down the alley, through some laundry lines, to see an older Chinese man arguing with a white man. There’d been a young girl, Chinese too, that the white man had by the back of the neck. A pretty girl, and yeah, Vas had worked out quick just what was going on. He’d told the white man to go find a girl who was actually selling, and it had just -</p>
<p>It had just happened so <em>fast</em>. The girl had grabbed him a clean shirt off one of the lines after it was over, and told him to run. It wasn’t until Vas had looked down that he’d seen the badge, saw the man was a ranger. Vas would have been in a noose before sunset, and he knew it, so he’d done what she said, and run.</p>
<p>He hadn’t even been the first man that Vas had killed. But he’d been important. A ranger, and he hadn’t been alone in town. The rest of his friends had already rounded up Vas’ gang, for the cattle. They’d given Vas up, and Vas hadn’t really blamed them. He probably would have done the same thing. </p>
<p>Vas thinks maybe he should have been sorrier over it. But he really wasn’t. As far as he was concerned, even back then, the man had deserved the bullet. If it hadn’t been Vas, it would have been someone else eventually. Even the working girls didn’t put up with being slapped around. </p>
<p>In any case, he’d gone to confession, like a good Catholic boy, like he always did when he had the chance. Funny how all of those Hail Mary’s and Our Father’s hadn’t been good for much, it turns out. Makes him feel better about not having followed through with them in the first place. </p>
<p>And none of that matters anymore anyway. The slate’s been wiped clean, and he’s got another chance. They all do, even Matthew Cullen. Though from what Vas has seen, the man hasn’t learned his lesson about keeping his mouth shut. Dangerous thing, that, but Vas wouldn’t expect any less from a man Emma loved so much. </p>
<p>None of it matters. Not that ranger, not the cake, not the priest, not even all the saints and the blessed Virgin herself. He’s got another chance, without all his reckless mistakes, and with people he can count on. He’s got this chance with Josh, to be with him for good. To have a life with him. It doesn’t matter who marries them, what god they claim to speak for. As long as the day ends with them together. </p>
<p>That’s what matters. </p>
<p>Still, he can’t help but feel a little put out that he won’t get the same things his sisters did, not even in this life. He has different sisters now, and even an older brother. He’d been fifteen this time, when that brother was married. Their parents had gone through all the steps, everything done as expected. The dinners, the big church wedding, and the even bigger reception. Before he’d left with his new bride, his brother had said something to him about it being Vas’ turn one day. </p>
<p>Hadn’t been long after that, maybe a year, that Vas got caught with that boy from school. Just his luck. </p>
<p>It feels off, that none of them will be here. He doesn’t even really want them here, has let it go, but it still feels off, somehow. They’re <em>supposed</em> to be here. He’s getting married, and they’re still his family. </p>
<p>He sits up, finishes his drink. Lord, back the first time, he’d have been happy just to be allowed to be with Josh openly. He’d have been happy just to have Josh at all. So why’s this bothering him? </p>
<p>It’s not important. </p>
<p>What’s important is that when he gets into bed that night, it’s the bed he shares with Josh. He’s down on the pillow already, the TV still on, Josh occasionally opening his eyes and looking at it without lifting his head. Vas is still sitting up, but he’s really watching Jack kick in his sleep. Even sleeping, the damn beast is still going. “You taking Jack home in the morning?” He doesn’t live with them. He can’t. They’re not allowed to have large breeds in this apartment. But Vas consents to the occasional sleepover. It makes Josh happy. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Josh says. “He likes it better there, anyway. Has the whole house to roam around at night.” </p>
<p>“You mean he has a whole house to destroy,” Vas says. Not that Wild Jack has done anything destructive. Yet. The most annoying thing he does is apparently fuss at night when he can’t get into someone’s bed with them. Sam had given in, and now he’s stuck with the hellbeast at night when Jack is home.  </p>
<p>“Don’t be telling lies about him. My boy never destroyed anything that wasn’t asking for it.” </p>
<p>Vas eyes him, but Josh just glares back. “You are delusional about him.” Wild Jack had bitten Vas when he was a horse. <em>Twice</em>. For no reason. </p>
<p>“You can kiss my ass, motherfucker,” Josh replies. “He was the greatest horse a man could ask for, and now he’s man’s best friend. It’s destiny.” There’s not a whole lot of room for argument there, when a body looks at it that way. Vas still thinks the beast is out to get him. He seems to hate Vas a lot less this time around at least, but that’s probably only because Josh is here, too. “And Teddy says he’s great.”</p>
<p>That’s not fair, not at all. “Okay, you know what, his opinion doesn’t count. On pretty much anything.” The man was willingly best friends with Emma Cullen the first time around, and that’s just the start of his bad choices. But Vas knows what’s coming, so he holds up a finger. “Except when it comes to Red.” </p>
<p>His older brother might not ever speak to him again, but Red Harvest has always been more of a brother to him anyway, in any lifetime. Vas will defend him to his dying breath. He’s proven that.  </p>
<p>Josh just looks up at him, then grabs the remote and turns off the TV. “Yeah, yeah, you’re blood-brothers, I know.” He turns over, putting the remote down on the bedside table, and clicking off the light. “I’m going to take Jack over, then I’m probably going to hang out over there. I’ll text you.” </p>
<p>Vas hums, stretching out in the bed and throwing an arm over Josh’s waist. “You and Raven going to conspire against me some more?” </p>
<p>“It’s not <em>conspiring</em>,” Josh corrects him, his eyes already shut in the dark room. “I told you from the get-go, Jack’s in the wedding. Raven ordered him a collar for it.”</p>
<p>Of course she did. “Okay, Raven needs to have that baby and go back to work.” She’s in her last month, at this point, and the doctor had supposedly put her on bed rest. Vas hasn’t seen her doing all that much resting, but what the hell does he know about babies? </p>
<p>“That ain’t really how it works,” Josh says to him, burying his face in the pillow. “Trust me, you’ll want her back in there as soon as she’s out. Babies cry, babe. For no damn reason, sometimes.” </p>
<p>He’s probably right, but Vas still falls asleep thinking about some things him and Raven have talked about. Putting another house on the land, someday. Not a big one. Josh and him don’t need a big house. But maybe big enough for them, and someone else. Vas likes that idea, likes thinking about maybe getting to put the badge away for good, and be something like a contractor, using the workshop. Having a child to teach. A child that’ll call Jack and Raven’s baby <em>cousin</em>. </p>
<p>There’s nothing wrong with having dreams. Vas has already done the impossible once, twice. The things he dreams of now, they’re far from impossible. </p>
<p>No, they feel so very close within his grasp. </p>
<p>But he knows he has to wait; Josh isn’t ready for a lot of that. Vas still isn’t all that sure Josh trusts that Vas is going to be there in bed with him every morning. Something to do with the way last time had gone for Josh, and a lot to do with how things had gone this time. Vas knows about it. All of it. Josh had told him, after he’d let Vas buy him some coffee, and let Vas go home with him. </p>
<p>In a few years, after they’re secure, then maybe Josh will be ready for that next step. Until then, Vas is happy to have what he has. He has Josh, and this family, the one he found. For now, this is enough. </p>
<p>It’s a nice state of mind to be in, leading up to the day. So he’s in a good mood when he pulls up to the ranch, and sees the strange woman standing on the porch, smoking a cigarette, with Billy pulled up against her. He’s showing her something on his phone, and she’s nodding along, her eyes flicking up at Vas when he gets out of the car. She’s a white woman, with a mass of dark, curly hair pinned behind her, so he guesses she’s Ruth. When he introduces himself, she confirms it. </p>
<p>“You three got here alright, then?” Vas asks, hooking his thumbs in his pockets and walking up the steps. </p>
<p>She nods. “We let Theo drive. Lord knows, Wendy and me would have been lost for days.” She squeezes Billy, then lets him go, leaning against the porch post. “No sense of direction, either one of us,” she says, her eyes going to Billy, “And whatever joke you want to make, you are not original.” </p>
<p>“You don’t know what I was going to say,” Billy drawls. </p>
<p>“I’m almost fifty, kid, so trust me, I’ve heard them all,” Ruth replies, taking a hit off the cigarette. “But yeah, yeah, we got down here fine. And our hotel doesn’t make Wendy twitchy, so that’s good. I think the word she used was <em>rustic</em>, which is Wendy’s way of saying <em>old</em>, but it’s clean and the WiFi is decent.” </p>
<p>Billy smirks. “Hospital might fall apart without her.” </p>
<p>“They might. Think the last time she took time off was when we got married.” She gestures at Vas with her cigarette. “Officially, mind you. We’ve been together since we were twenty.” </p>
<p>That’s an admirable goal. “Thirty years, then? That’s a long time.” Vas can only imagine that day. It’ll happen, he’s sure of that. There’s no one else for him, except Josh, in either life. </p>
<p>“Twenty-seven years, technically,” Ruth corrects. “We celebrated our tenth anniversary with Theo.” </p>
<p>And that’s another goal, another one Vas hopes to celebrate. But that’s a lot to get into with a relative stranger, so he just smiles, and checks through the screen door. He can hear other people moving around inside, and Josh’s car is parked in the gravel, but he doesn’t see him. The ranch being what it is though, he could be anywhere from the other side of the house, to all the way to the north fence. </p>
<p>He nods to Ruth, and leaves her with Billy, going inside, his eyes taking a minute to adjust from the bright sky outside, to the dark entryway. The noise is coming from the kitchen, so he heads there, finding Raven sitting at the big table with who he assumes is Wendy, and Emma looking through the pantry for something. There’s no sign of any of the other boys, but he can hear music from down the hall, so Goody’s likely in the three-seasons room, and there’s a good chance Sam is with him. </p>
<p>Someone, maybe Goody, has gathered up some of the wildflowers and put them in the vase on the table. They look nice, as much as Vas ever thinks about flowers. Raven is playing with one of the petals from one, pulling off shriveled ones and making herself a little pile. </p>
<p>“Here’s the other one,” Emma says, by way of announcing him. She’s got a thing of cookies in her hand, that she puts down in the middle of the table when she sits. “Where’s the alcohol hidden in this damn house, Vas? Raven says she doesn’t know.”</p>
<p>“There isn’t any,” Vas breaks it to her. None for communal drinking, at least. He knows Sam has a stash somewhere, but bad things will happen if they drink it.</p>
<p>“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she replies, deadpan, like she’s waiting for him to make a joke out of it, but he shrugs. “Seriously? That’s just depressing.”</p>
<p>“Considering I let my teenage son stay down here for the summer, I for one find it comforting,” Wendy interjects, which, yeah, that’s fair. “That said, honestly, I could do with a drink. This isn’t a dry wedding, is it?” </p>
<p>Vas shakes his head. “No, we’re getting some stuff later today, so it’ll be good for tomorrow.” Tomorrow, when he’s getting married to Josh. It’s a good thought. Like when he was a kid, the day before his birthday, but without that impatient feeling. “Speaking of, where’s Josh?” </p>
<p>“Him and Red took Teddy over to the workshop,” Raven says. “Red wants to show off his latest work.” She looks proud, and Vas agrees. It’s a little different, what Red’s been working on this time, but Vas thinks it’s good. It’s a stylized sun, over the impression of horses running and flowers, maybe. Vas isn’t entirely sure, and it’s not like Red’s ever been interested in going into details, not even with him. </p>
<p>It’s how he is, how he’s always been, for as long as Vas has known him. But Vas has always been able to understand him. They were too alike for him not to. “I’ll go see what they’re up to.”</p>
<p>He finds them just where he was told they’d be. Josh has pulled one of the canvas chairs out of the workshop, and is sitting in it, with Jack on his feet. Red is showing Teddy some detail of the mural, where he’s started with the blue paint. Flowers, or maybe smoke. </p>
<p>They’re distracted, and the beast is asleep, so Vas braces himself on the poles of the chair, and leans over to kiss Josh. “How’d you get stuck on babysitting duty?”</p>
<p>“I fucking volunteered,” Josh says. “I deal with doctors all day at work. I’m clocked out. No doctors.” </p>
<p>“Please be nice to my mom,” Teddy calls over his shoulder. </p>
<p>“It’s my damn wedding,” Josh replies. “And I didn’t invite them.” Whatever Teddy thinks about that, if he even thinks anything, he apparently doesn’t think it’s worth the fight, because he doesn’t say anything. Josh turns back up to Vas though, smiling. “When are you going to pick up the beer and shit?” </p>
<p>“As soon as Jack gets back with the truck.” Everything’s already ordered and paid for. Just has to be cooked, chilled, whatever. “You got anything to add?” </p>
<p>“Nah,” he says. “Just take one of them with you.” Vas doesn’t ask <em>why</em>, just nods, kisses Josh again. </p>
<p>When Jack gets home with the truck, Vas does as asked, and grabs Red by the back of the neck, pulling him along until he gets the idea and goes willingly. Honestly, Vas was planning on taking him anyway. He’s going to need help getting everything loaded up, and Red’s good for that. Besides, Vas likes getting to spend time with him. Between work and the wedding, they haven’t gotent a lot of that lately. </p>
<p>They ride in silence for a bit, but that’s not unusual for the two of them. Red’s never been much of a talker. Even the first time, he just genuinely hadn’t been. Vas has never gotten that. Him, he’s always loved to talk. That had been the worst part of being on the run; not being able to talk to people, to interact. He had been craving it worse than water by the time Emma and Sam had tracked him down. </p>
<p>Red though, he doesn’t need that. He likes being around them, Vas knows that. Likes Vas best, even if he has bonded a little better with Goody and Josh this time around. Vas likes that. That Red likes Josh. That’s important to Vas. But he doesn’t need to talk. </p>
<p>“You doing okay, with them here?” Red shrugs in answer. “Aw, do your boyfriend’s mommies make you nervous?”</p>
<p>“Fuck you,” Red mutters. </p>
<p>Vas was only teasing, but he found a soft spot, just like that. “Holy shit, they do.” The face Red makes tells Vas he’s prodding a bear, but it’s too easy, and actually getting some conversation out of Red is always fun. “Are you going to ask their permission for their son’s hand in -” They’ve just pulled into a parking spot, so he should have expected the punch in the arm. Still hurts. Vas curses in Spanish, because <em>Jesus</em>. “Quit that shit, you ain’t a minor anymore.”</p>
<p>Red’s eighteenth birthday has come and gone, with no fanfare. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to celebrate it. It’s that Red probably would have killed one of them for it. He’s not a fan of anyone making a fuss over him, for anything. Vas doesn’t get that either. Parties are great. </p>
<p>“You’re still an asshole,” Red replies mildly, getting out of the truck. </p>
<p>With some help from one of the guys at the liquor store, they get the kegs loaded up, and the crates with the rest of the liquor. It’s just two, and it doesn’t look like much, but Vas isn’t looking for his wedding to turn into Mardi Gras. God knows, he doesn’t miss that about Louisiana. Or anything about Louisiana, really. </p>
<p>Except Josh’s apartment, maybe. The one they’d ended up living in together. It had been a hole in the wall, one of those old buildings made of concrete blocks, painted some kind of neutral beige with that soft, thick paint always used in buildings like that, with linoleum floors. They’d had to have two window AC units just to keep the place liveable that summer they’d lived there. Heat is fine, but in Louisiana, the air had been so muggy and dense with it, steam had come off the sidewalk sometimes when it rained. </p>
<p>He’d liked it though, in a way. Because it was a new life, and he had Josh again. They had barely had any at all the first time, and it had felt like one more unfair thing in Vas’ short, unfair life. This life, it’s had its own unfairnesses, but nothing like before. </p>
<p>“Do you ever miss the reservation?” Vas asks, turning onto the road again, as they drive by the sign directing people towards the one down the way. “Your parents?” </p>
<p>“No,” Red says. “Why?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. You don’t talk about it.” </p>
<p>“There’s nothing to say.” Vas doesn’t believe that, and Red must sense it, because Red takes a breath, and then says, with the air of someone getting their teeth pulled, “It wasn’t good. We were poor. They don’t like each other. They didn’t know what to do with me.” He shrugs again, looking more annoyed than anything else. Not that Vas really expected anything more emotional from Red. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t live there anymore. I won’t fucking go back.” </p>
<p>That has some emotion behind it, one Vas has never been sure if he can ask about. Red hates the reservations. He hated them that first time, too. It’s not what Vas wants Red feeling right now, anyway. He wants Red to be happy for him. “That’s good. I don’t have time to find a new best man.” </p>
<p>He really doesn’t, but he reconsiders it when something catches his eye. Red’s shirt sleeves have ridden up, and Vas realizes he’s seeing something <em>blue</em> on Red’s skin. </p>
<p>“Is that a fucking tattoo?” </p>
<p>“I’m eighteen,” Red says. “Don’t start.”</p>
<p>“When did you get it?” </p>
<p>“Last week.” That tracks. Vas has been busy with work and planning, and he hasn’t really seen Red without long sleeves or a hoodie in that time. “Emma paid for it. Birthday present.” </p>
<p>“Why would she do that?” Not that she and Matthew couldn’t afford it, but Emma’s never been into tattoos, not as far as Vas can tell. And she had agreed the last time Vas had pointed out that Red still had to be <em>careful</em> with how he presented himself. The plugs were bad enough. And he went up a size here recently, the asshole.</p>
<p>There’s a second, where Vas almost doesn’t hear the reply, he’s so quiet, but Red says, “Showed her what I wanted.” </p>
<p>It still doesn’t make sense until Vas can stop at a red light, and gesture at Red to pull his sleeve up. It’s on the outside of his forearm, and for a second, he thinks it’s a feather, but then he sees it’s a flower. Greyscale, mostly, but with color on the tips of the leaves, and the actual flowers. It’s confusing, because Vas doesn’t remember Red ever being all that interested in flowers. </p>
<p>This flower looks familiar, though, when he thinks about it. It looks like that weed that’s always popping up around the barn. He remembers that flower from the first time, too. Teddy used to put it on the kitchen table, for whatever reason. </p>
<p>Vas cracks up laughing. He’s still kind of pissed off, just because he worries about Red, but it’s fucking funny, too. Of course Emma paid for it. She’s such a sappy little girl in her heart, even if she’d shoot him for saying it. “You dumb motherfucker,” Vas says, getting himself under control when the light changes. “You know this completely kills your badass-cred, right?” </p>
<p>“Fuck you.” </p>
<p>It shouldn’t make Vas so happy, but it does, because it makes him think of Josh. Josh, and that little apartment, that first time in this life. For all his big talk about not getting caught up in this shit, it hadn’t even taken an hour before he had told Vas he wasn’t up for people and invited him back. Second verse, same as the first. But this time, this time when he’d gotten Josh’s shirt off, there’d been a tattoo, right on his collarbone. An Aztec-style sun, something like the medallion Vas used to wear back the first time. </p>
<p>Josh had said it was just some flash art from off the wall, and it probably was, but that hadn’t taken away the significance of it. What it meant. That it had all meant just as much to Josh, that first time. That all this time Vas had spent looking for Josh, Josh was looking for him too. </p>
<p>“You are one <em>stupid</em> fucker sometimes,” Vas says. Because Red always liked to act like he was above it all, and he kind of is, in his way, but every now and then, he pulls some shit like this. “But I guess it’s good.” He thinks on it, says it again. “Yeah. That’s good.” He can feel Red asking for an explanation, but Vas doesn’t know how to put it in words. Except that the dumb tattoo makes him think of that first time, back when it was happening, in that clapboard house. </p>
<p>The way Red kept dancing around it, not doing anything, sure as hell not saying anything. Until something shifted, one night. Whatever it was, it had done Vas some good, that Red, the person he loved as his brother, bonded tighter than blood, was happy. The way he’s happy now. The way Vas is, too. </p>
<p>Back at the ranch, they get everything unloaded and into the dining room and big fridge out in the garage that Jack usually uses for hunting. Everyone else has gotten out the tables and chairs, set them up close to the house. They’re not doing anything formal, so there’s no aisle to walk down, just a wooden arch that was previously serving as a home for spiders out in the barn. Goody had cleaned it up though, and Emma had made it pretty with bunches of dried flowers and paper torn out of old books and newspapers, turned into pinwheels. If Vas looks closely, he can see that one of the pages was from a VCR manual. </p>
<p><em>Pinwheels</em>. Emma probably thought she was being cute. </p>
<p>She comes over and joins him on his inspection. “You like it?” </p>
<p>He does. It makes him think of weddings from before, how people like them got married. “We need pie,” he says. People now don’t remember, but before, there was always pie, or something like it. Easier to make, cheaper too. Cakes were for rich people. There had been a couple of weddings in Rose Creek that he’d been around for. They’d been simple. Everyone went to the church to witness it, and then after, there was food, dancing. All laid out, just like this. </p>
<p>Of course, they’re going to have a laptop plugged into some speakers instead of a band, but times do change. </p>
<p>“I bought a cherry pie from that bakery down on Vista,” she tells him, and he grins down at her. “I <em>was</em> going to muscle Teddy into making you one, but I haven’t gotten five seconds alone with him since he got down here. Between his moms, Billy, and Red, I have to fight for his time.” </p>
<p>Vas nods. “Billy is real attached to him this time.” It makes sense. They’d only had each other for a while there. And Billy is kind of like a cat, Vas has noticed. He didn’t get a lot of time to know Billy back then, but Billy’s kind of weird. Territorial, almost. </p>
<p>“Billy is a goddamned friend-stealer, is what he is,” she grits out. When Vas raises his eyebrows at her, she sneers. “He was my friend first.” </p>
<p>“I think he was Matthew’s friend first.” Vas seems to remember that Teddy had mentioned something about that. </p>
<p>“Everything that belongs to Matthew belongs to me, that’s how marriage works.” That doesn’t sound right. It sounds even less right when she says, “You know, I think that makes you Wild Jack’s new step-dad.” </p>
<p>“That demon is out to haunt me,” Vas groans. </p>
<p>“He outlived you, the first time,” she points out. That was true. Wild Jack had outlived him by another six years, according to her. “And I don’t want to hear you bitch, after you went and got yourself killed, and after…” she pauses, swallows. “After I lost the others, it was just me and that damn beast. Age did not tame him. I was damn shocked it was his heart that gave out on him. Always figured that horse would break his own fool neck acting crazy.” </p>
<p>They can hear barking in the house. It doesn’t mean anything. The dog tends to bark whenever anyone winds him up, and Vas swears Red and Billy do it on purpose. He’s kind of twitchy, for a dog, but Vas guesses that’s the one thing he can’t hold against the animal. It’s not his fault he crossed species. He has been good about guarding the chickens, anyway, so at least he’s earning his keep this time. </p>
<p>“Are you ready?” She nudges him, grinning now. </p>
<p>“I’ve been ready for over a hundred years,” he says. </p>
<p>“Please don’t say that tomorrow. People around here already think we’re some kind of cult.” </p>
<p>That’s true. Well, mostly they seem to think the ranch is some sort of LGBTQ commune, but Vas has heard them casually referred to as a cult once or twice. There’s no ill will in it. There’s a lot of harmless crazy people out here in New Mexico. It’s a part of the charm. </p>
<p>What he does say, standing under the arch with Josh, the day bright and sunny, and just a little chilly, is the vows the justice of the peace has them both repeat. He’d like to say he kept his eyes on Josh, but it’s hard, because Wild Jack is getting antsy, and has started attacking the bow Raven had pinned to his collar. Also, he can see Billy making faces at one point, clearly bored and hungry. </p>
<p>Plus, one of the horses, and he just bets it’s West River, the crybaby of the group, is making noises from the paddock. He must be tired of all these people being here and no one paying any attention to him. </p>
<p>And then it’s over, vows said and sealed. As easy as that, Josh is his for keeps, and Vas is Josh’s. Officially, at least. Just like that. </p>
<p>Just like that. </p>
<p>“Quit it,” Josh murmurs, but doesn’t pull his hand away. His left hand, where there’s now a plain black silicone band. Neither of them were all that interested in the jewellery, and neither of their jobs are good for anything flashy. It still means the same thing. The same thing, and Vas can’t help but be fascinated by it on Josh’s hand, the realization hitting him again and again that it’s <em>his</em> ring Josh is wearing. “I give you a week before you lose yours.” </p>
<p>“I’m not the one who sticks my hands in people’s guts,” Vas replies. </p>
<p>“That was an emergency,” Josh replies offhandedly. “I don’t usually do that.” </p>
<p>Matthew, sitting at their table, pipes in, “That’s why I got mine tattooed on. Lost two of them doing who-knows-what, gave up.” </p>
<p>“We all know Emma likes her cattle branded, anyway,” Josh says, through a mouthful of food.</p>
<p>“Not insulted,” Matthew replies cheerfully. “My wife is awesome.” He waves at her, where Emma has an arm securely linked through Teddy’s, talking to his moms. Looks like she’s working on establishing herself with them. And just marking her territory. That woman does like her cattle branded. “But seriously, it’s way easier. No muss, no fuss. Didn’t even hurt all that much.” </p>
<p>“I’ll think about it,” Josh says, and Vas looks at him, eyebrows raised. “What, babe, you know how I am.” </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Vas says. “I know.” </p>
<p>He knows when they go back to the apartment tonight, exactly what Josh is going to do. They get their shoes off at the door, trying to stick to basic decorum, the both of them, even if it does go against their instincts, instincts from another time, another place. Not this place. Not this time. </p>
<p>This apartment is a lot better than the one they had back in Louisiana. It’s nicer, newer. There’s even a little patio and yard that Josh has,for whatever reason, decided to put a couple of potted plants on. They’ve got nicer furniture now than what they had back in Louisiana too, the both of them trying to make this place a home. Because this time, this place, this is different. That apartment before, they both knew that was just a place they were living.</p>
<p>This place, it’s home. It’s home, and Josh sheds his button-up shirt, tossing it in the laundry closet, stretching until his back cracks, like he always does when he gets home, when he’s been stuck in clothes he doesn’t like for too long. Vas unbuttons his own, his sleeves already rolled up his arms, sitting down on the couch.</p>
<p>Sometimes, like now, with only the light from the kitchen on, the curtain closed over the patio door, Josh looks like he did then. In Rose Creek, when they only had a week left, a week they were both supposed to die at the end of. Only Vas had lived. He had lived, without this man, after getting to have him for just that week. Just that one week. </p>
<p>“<em>Mi vida</em>,” he says, a term that had lived on the tip of his tongue and in his heart, even then. </p>
<p>“Hm?” Josh looks just like he did then, with his undershirt stripped off now, standing in the dark, looking over at Vas. </p>
<p>“Come sit here,” Vas says. They did this, then. Vas had told Josh they could share. There weren’t enough beds turned down. Not enough warm rooms. Some stupid excuse they’d needed then. “Let me see if this is worth it.” He’d said something like that. A joke. They’d both been too drunk to care anyway. “That I’m not wasting my time.”</p>
<p>“You think that line is gonna work twice?” But Josh still comes, straddling Vas’ lap. He did that then, too, the heavy motherfucker. “Fuck me, guess it did.” </p>
<p>Vas can see his tattoo, even in this bad light. It’s just plain black, so it sticks out. “<em>Mi vida</em>,” Vas says again, running a thumb over it. “No bullshit, not today, and I won’t tell, I promise.” He leans over, presses his mouth over the ink, lingers. Josh feels so warm and alive, and Vas can feel the ring on his hand, where he’s digging his fingers into Vas’ shoulders. “Why did you get this?”</p>
<p>It takes a second, but Vas knows Josh. He’s not good with being open, telling anyone, even Vas, the most tender parts of himself. Tonight though, in their home, married, this is different. It must be, because Josh says, “‘Cause I was lonely. ‘Cause I was looking for you. Because you were my life too, babe.” He knocks their foreheads together, so Vas looks up, and Josh kisses him. “I just told you so in front of our whole family. You don’t get that, yet?”  </p>
<p>It brings Vas back to some of the shit that was bothering him before. That his parents, from this time around, weren’t here. That his siblings weren’t here. But Josh is right, he realizes. Vas did get what he wanted, really. He got Josh, and their family was there to witness it. Threw them a party, even. </p>
<p>Maybe there was even a god there, whichever god it was that gave them this.</p>
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